The Popular One
by Sokasato
Summary: Just what has Goku gotten himself into? Sanzo, Hakkai, and Gojyo decide to find out after they overhear one of the monkey's dreams. This is my attempt at humor. Not really any pairing. Enjoy!


Okay...I accidentally deleted my first story so here it is again! This is my attempt at humor or just amusement, as long as it makes someone smile I'm happy! There is reference to Goku's past so if you don't know it you may be a bit lost. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: Saiyuki is not mine.**  
**

** The Popular One**

**By: Yuki **

Sanzo, Gojyo, and Hakkai were playing a late game of cards when suddenly they heard it.

"Ah...ah!"

Three sets of eyes stared at the youth on the bed. The youth tossed and turned fitfully.

"W-waait. Ngh!" The boy whimpered, moaning at the end.

Eyes widened, realization dawning onto them as to what the boy was dreaming.

"What the hell is Goku dreaming about?" Sanzo asked. Well...almost everyone.

Gojyo and Hakkai looked at each other for a brief moment and then snickered as if sharing an inner joke that annoyed the hell out of Sanzo. Hakkai spoke quickly, noticing the look in Sanzo's eye. "He's having a wet dream."

Sanzo suddenly felt a bit foolish for not getting it the first time. _ /A wet dream...huh. A WET DREAM?!!!/_

"Who the hell did Goku sleep with?!!" He hissed at the two, glaring. He **_knew_** bringing the red haired fuck up was going to be a bad idea!

"Now that's something I'd like to know!" Gojyo said with a smirk.

"He doesn't have to sleep with someone to have a wet dream. It happens to boys around his age." Hakkai spoke up.

Gojyo and Sanzo looked at him.

"I thought it happened when they were younger...of course I lost my virginity when I was fourteen so..." Gojyo let his sentence fall. "Maybe Goku is just a late bloomer." Hakkai said, smiling his damn smile.

"Oh!" Came Goku's voice.

Gojyo grinned, "Well whoever his dream lover is _must_ be a Sex Goddess for Goku to moan so loudly!" He chuckled to himself.

Sanzo was getting tired of this. His hand began reaching into his robes for his paper fan. He was going to wake up the damn monkey. Stupid monkey.

Hakkai saw what Sanzo was ready to do and held a hand up in front of the priest, "Now, Sanzo, just think how embarrassing it's going to be for Goku when he wakes up and discovers we've been overhearing him the entire time."

Sanzo glared, "Then maybe he'd stop having sex dreams when he knows we have to share the same fucking room!"

Gojyo snickered, "All I want to know is who would want to have sex with _him_!"

And as if in answer to his question Goku cried out once again.

"Ah...K-Konzen!" Came Goku's breathless moan.

Green, red, and violet eyes clashed together.

"That's strange, if he's having a wet dream his 'lover' should be nameless. Also 'Konzen' sounds a lot like a male name," said Hakkai. "Has Goku gone anywhere recently, I mean we've been staying at this town for nearly a month due to the violent snowstorms...Could Goku have possibly made a **friend**?" He stressed the word friend. /_The way Goku is dreaming aloud, I'd say he is very much taken with this Konzen. Could Goku have possibly fallen in love?! No it's too silly, Goku knows we're on a journey...But just how much influence does Konzen have on Goku? Enough to convince him to stay? Oh my, how will Sanzo react? Hmmm...I would very much like to meet this man._/

"No. I-it couldn't be. Goku's not...like **_that_**." Gojyo finished lamely. _ /That bakasaru, just what the hell is he doing going out and having sex!! Is he being careful? Shit, what if the guy's just using him?_/ A picture of Goku smiling and laughing flashed in his head. _/That kid is way too trusting. What if that Konzen turns out to be some jerk that likes boasting how many youkai's he's slept with?! I'll fucking kill him/_

Hakkai and Gojyo stared at Sanzo who snorted and looked away, "Hell if I know," he scoffed nonchalantly, although, inside, he was burning with overprotective ness. _/Just who the fuck is Konzen? Goku never mentioned anything...then again why would he? But having actual sex with that guy...I can't imagine Goku actually initiating the act. So that means that Konzen must have seduced the stupid monkey./_ Suddenly an image of a shady man luring an innocent- unsuspecting Goku into a hotel while promising 'fun games' popped into Sanzo's head. _ /What the fuck?! No Goku's dumb, but not that dumb! Then again sometimes Goku's innocence gets in the way of his judgment. Maybe it was Goku's innocence that attracted this Konzen, so that guy may just be...a paedophile!!! Fuck, I should just find this Konzen and kill him. Goku will never know...I'll keep him with Hakkai and as soon as the guy's dead were leaving, snowstorm or no snow-/_

"S-stop...Tenpou!"

_...storm?/ _

"N-NANI?!" Gojyo stood abruptly from his chair letting it fall back. He turned to Hakkai, "Wasn't the guy's name Konzen a minute ago?!" Hakkai looked equally shocked, "Y-yeah."

"You too, Kenren?! Ah!" Goku groaned, his back suddenly arching, his shirt riding up, revealing deliciously tan skin and a taut lean torso, that left all three men's mouth dry.

"Oh. My. God." Hakkai said, standing suddenly, his face pale.

"Is it what I think it is?" Gojyo asked, eyes wide.

"A fucking..." Sanzo started, realizing he could not finish the sentence. It didn't matter though, because they had all reached the same conclusion.

_Threesome..._

"JUST WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS KONZEN GUY GETTING HIM INTO?!!" All three suddenly yelled, outraged.

Goku moaned once more.

"THEY'RE ALL DEAD!!!"

They had searched and searched and even though the snowstorm had stopped they still searched. Sometimes it was Gojyo and Hakkai or Sanzo and Hakkai or Sanzo and Gojyo, but Goku was never left alone after that night. Everywhere they looked no one seemed to have heard of man or woman by the named Konzen, Tenpou, or Kenren. They had tried getting information out of Goku, asking him what places in town he would like to visit and try to see if he would accidentally give something away. And somehow Goku always managed to dream a different dream every night. Mostly the Konzen guy came up.

Finally the day came when Sanzo had had enough. He told them all to pack up and checked them out of the inn.

"Are you really going to let that scum get away with touching your pet?" Gojyo asked hefting his bag into the jeep. Sanzo took a puff of his cigarette, "If that bakazaru wants to fuck three strangers who were obviously passing through town that's got nothing to do with me."

Yes, that was the conclusion they had all reached. If no one had ever heard of Konzen, Tenpou, or Kenren, then that meant that they were travellers. And that their Goku was not as innocent as he seemed.

On the road again Gojyo tried one last time to get the truth out, this time getting it from the horses mouth.

"So...uh...any interesting dreams lately?" Gojyo asked Goku as they sat in the back seat.

Sanzo and Hakkai immediately trained their ears on the conversation.

Goku stared blankly at Gojyo, "Huh, what d'ya mean?"

Gojyo laughed fakely, "Now, now, there's no reason to be shy. We're all men here."

Goku looked at Gojyo as if he was contemplating whether the man was crazy or a rambling idiot...maybe both, "Since when did you want to know about my dreams?" He decided on asking.

Gojyo's temper flared, "Listen bakazaru for the past nights we've all heard you having wet _dreams!!!_" He blurted.

"_Gojyo!!!_" Hakkai cried scandalized, slamming on the brakes, causing everyone to grab on for dear life, "There was no need for that!" he reprimanded once jeep fully stopped. He turned to Goku, "It's nothing to be ashamed about. Just please tell us who-" Hakkai stopped when he saw the look on Goku's face. He didn't look embarrassed at all instead he looked confused.

"Ne, Sanzo," said Goku, "what's a 'wet dream'?"

Sanzo glared daggers at the kappa. He turned to Goku, "I'll tell you when you're older." He said turning back to the front of the vehicle.

"But I'm eighteen!!" Goku whined. "How much older do I hav'ta be?!"

"Yeah, Sanzo if he's old enough to have sex, I think he's old enough to know and finally we'll have the answer to our question!" Gojyo said and turned to Goku. "First of all, who the hell is Konzen?!"

Goku's eyebrows furrowed in confusion, "Huh? I've never had sex!! And what's a Konzen?"

Gojyo mentally smacked himself, "Oh, no. Don't try to play innocent, you've been having kinky dreams and calling out his name for the past four nights!"

"What are ya talkin' about perverted kappa?! I'm not you, havin' sex with people with weird names!" Goku spat angrily.

Gojyo was now unsure as he looked into the golden orbs and could only see innocence, anger, and confusion.

"D-don't play innocent with me!!" He tried once more, "We were all there and--what is it Hakkai?!!" Gojyo looked at his friend who had been trying to get his attention for the past minute.

Hakkai motioned for him to inch closer, until he was sure Goku would not overhear. "I've been thinking this for a while now," Hakkai said, making sure Sanzo heard as well. "What is it?" Sanzo asked, flicking his cigarette out the jeep.

"What if the dreams are memories from Goku's previous life? Before he met us."

Realization dawned on the two. Of course, that had to be it! Goku not knowing whom Konzen was. The confusion in his eyes and forgotten memories of long ago.

Suddenly Gojyo began laughing and he let himself fall back into the seats, how could they have been so blind?

"Hey, what were ya guys talking about? You know I hate secrets tell me!! Tell me!!" Goku whined.

"That's enough bakazaru!" Sanzo yelled, whacking him with the harisen. "Ite!! Sanzo you meanie!!" Goku cried, rubbing his head.

So in the end they had been chasing a ghost. Just how popular was Goku that he had three men after him?

Just as they were all getting comfortable and on the road again another thought crossed Gojyo's mind. "Hey stupid priest, about how old was Goku when you found him?"

"…."

"Oh, my." Said Hakkai.

* * *

"It was this month, wasn't it?" Kanzeon said to herself as she sat on her throne overlooking the Lilly pond. "When Goku had fallen off the highest building in heaven..." She smiled to herself and let herself fall back into the memory. 

Goku had been a curious monkey and wondering if he could actually reach the sun had climbed on top of the building. Unfortunately there was some dew on the roof and he had lost his footing, slipping and rolling down the roof, slamming into the stone gargoyles only to roll once more until he fell to the floor, having the wind knocked out of him and falling unconscious. Luckily one of Kenren's loyal followers had found him and recognized Goku immediately bringing him to Konzen.

Kenren and Tenpou arrived as fast as they could, and were shocked to find their little friend beaten up in Konzen's bed. Luckily since Goku was so strong, he only broke a few of his bones, but his body was completely bruised. It was Tenpou who suggested they use massage therapy to lessen the pain in Goku's body.

Tenpou had rushed back to his room and dug out the book bringing it back to Konzen's room. They studied the book word-for-word, even forcing Konzen to read it, Kenren saying something like 'It's only fair you treat his wounds. He was, after all, your responsibility.' And if she remembered correctly, she often caught her nephew reading the book when he thought no one had been looking.

Sometimes all three rubbed Goku's bruised muscles, ignoring his whimpering and pleading. Sometimes they took turns, but mostly it was Konzen who treated him.

They didn't stop until they saw Goku's bright smile once again.

OWARI

Done. Yay!! Thanks for reading. Review if you want, but no flames!!!


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